Monday, October 14, 2013

Stories are Due Tomorrow!!!

I have a nice fat folder full of possible stories for my book, and I'm looking forward to getting more. Based on submissions, I will probably be merging some chapters or working stuff around, but I am really excited about the prospects of this book.

If you are thinking about submitting, here are a few notes:


  • The book is about breastfeeding PAST THE THIRD BIRTHDAY. I am limiting the book to stories that focus on this precious period. I love reading all kinds of breastfeeding stories and applaud all of you breastfeeding mamas, but I can only accept stories about breastfeeding a child who has already turned three.
  • I currently have the most submissions for chapters 1, 5, and 6, so submissions with a focus toward the other chapters would be most welcome (see the Call for Stories link at the top of the page for more details).
  • Are you close but need a small extension? Please use the contact form on the right side of the page to message me, and I'll let you know whether I can accept a late submission.
  • I am still looking for funny tidbits and anecdotes, milky names, and photos or artwork depicting breastfeeding past the third birthday.

Thanks, everyone!

Friday, August 30, 2013

What the Book Still Needs

Hello, mommies and mommy supporters! I am proud to report that the book is coming along nicely. I have 26 stories in my inbox, with some in the accepted pile, some into the to-read pile, and some in the pending pile. However, I can accept up to 72 stories for the book, depending on the length, so I definitely need more!!!

I have received stories mostly for Chapter 1 (Stories of Decision: How Did this Happen?) than for any other chapter. I still need stories for all chapters, but I have not yet received any stories for the following chapters:
  • Chapter 3. Stories of Challenges: Difficulties Encountered in Long-Term Nursing: This chapter might include stories of divorce, illness, grief, schooling, societal expectations, and other situations that might make long-term nursing more difficult and will be limited to situational challenges and difficulties with those outside the family.
  • Chapter 4. Stories of Family: Support and Conflict with Spouses, Partners, and Other Family Members: This chapter will include stories of how mothers and children were supported or discouraged by spouses and family members in their journey.
  • Chapter 6. Special Stories: Long-Term Nursing when Mother or Child Has Medical Issues or Special Needs: As described, this chapter might include stories of older mothers nursing, nursing through illness, nursing a child with autism, and other challenging situations where the decision to continue breastfeeding might have been an advantage or a disadvantage.
  • Chapter 9: Stories of How They Have Grown: This chapter will focus on first-person stories of grown nurslings (lets say, ages 16 and up). These stories might cover the following topics: How long did you nurse? Describe what memories you have of nursing and what kind of feelings you have toward that time in your life. In general, what positive or negative affects has nursing had on you as you’ve grown older? How do you feel the nursing relationship affected the relationship you have with your mother (or both parents)? Has nursing affected the way you interact or your relationship with other children and/or adults? Please describe. Do you feel nursing for as long as you did made it harder or easier for you to be independent and self-sufficient? Or did it have no affect? Please provide any stories or comments that you would like to share regarding nursing and how it has affected you as a person. 
Please keep in mind that just a few sentences or a well-stated viewpoint can change your story from Chapter 8 (weaning) to Chapter 6 (medical issues or special needs), for example. A weaning story might fit more poignantly into Chapter 6 if it is written about how nursing really helped a child with autism cope and how his or her weaning represented a step toward independence. Again, this is just an example.

I still need stories for ALL of the chapters as well as photos, artwork, humorous tidbits, and your or your child's favorite nickname for mama's milk.

Please spread the word and let mothers and former nurslings know that they can contribute to this important book.

Thanks so much!

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Seeking Art, Milky Names, and Humorous Stories


  1. Art: For the book, I am also seeking breastfeeding photographs and art. They can go with a story or be separate. So, you can submit a photograph without having submitted a story. Like the stories, you will be required to sign a permission form for me to use these in the book, so only submit items that are yours.
  2. Milky Names: I will also be including a list of names that mothers and children use for mother's milk. I started this long ago and would be happy to add to it.
  3. Humorous Stories: Another mother suggested a chapter of humorous anecdotes. Depending on what I receive, I may be able to fit this in, so please send them in--they can be as long or short as you like.

Please send all submissions to directly to me at tothreeandbeyond@gmail.com. The due date is October 15, 2013 for all items. Thank you!

Monday, August 12, 2013

Last Story Extension

I've extended the deadline for stories to October 15. This will be the last extension because the book in its entirety will be due to the publisher early next year, and I need time to go through and organize and edit the stories.

I will be going through already submitted stories soon to see which ones fit well with the book. If you've already submitted a story, you should probably hear from me before October 15. However, if you haven't yet submitted, the sooner the better!

On another note, I am contacting breastfeeding bloggers and perhaps a celebrity or two that fit into our category of nursing past the third birthday to help round out the stories in the book and, yes, draw attention to it. I'm very excited about this possibility, but mostly I want the book to be a collection of stories by everyday moms that can be useful to all mothers who find themselves nursing an older toddler or beyond. If you know of anyone else that might want to contribute to our humble little book, please spread the word!

Thank you so much.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

New Facebook Community

I've created an open Facebook group for the book and topics related to breastfeeding past three. It will remain open for the moment for ease of joining but after a week, I will close the group to ensure more privacy to its members. Please join us!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/660759677271153/

Deadline for Stories Extended

Please note that the stories deadline has been extended to August 15! I have some stories but really need many more. Please consider contributing, and don't forget to check out the guidelines on the Call for Stories page and the tips for writing your story.

As always, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

P.S. If you've sent in your story already and I haven't responded, please note that I am going through them. If you sent me your story and I don't respond within a week or two, please write me again to make sure I got it. Thanks!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Why "To Three and Beyond"?

First, I want to say that I bear no ill will toward anyone whose child weaned (child-led or mother-led) before age 3. I believe every nursing relationship is unique and beautiful, and each ends in its own time.

However, to understand the scope of my book, here is a little of my own experience. When my first child was nursing, I quickly became a dedicated breastfeeding advocate. There are few things in life I believe in as strongly as I do in the beauty and benefits of the gift of breastfeeding. I became a La Leche League Leader when my son was 2 and decided to let him nurse until he no longer needed to continue.

When he was 3 1/2 and still going strong, we moved out of the suburbs of a big city to a small, rural town. As he continued to nurse, it was hard to come out of the closet. I felt the pressures of the town's conservative values pressing in on me, and I was a bit afraid to nurse in public, although I still did when my son really needed it. I hate to admit that sometimes he had to really get upset to let me know that. He is also on the autism spectrum. Although I didn't know it at the time, I did know that he still needed to nurse and that there was nothing wrong with it at all. I also knew that more people needed to know that.

In my search, I found a glaring lack of support or only smidgens of tangential support. Although I knew many women through La Leche League that practiced extended/full-term breastfeeding, it often seemed closeted. Leaders were cautioned to be careful about the topic so as not to scare new mothers away or to present the expectation that every mother must nurse their child into their teens (yes, being sarcastic here.).

There were books that touched on the topic, such as Mothering Your Nursing Toddler and Adventures in Tandem Nursing, but nothing that said, "Yes, your child is old enough for preschool (or elementary school), and it's okay to continue nursing." or "Here's how to talk to your family when they say that your child is getting to old to nurse." or "Is it okay to night wean your child and still continue nursing during the day?"

Thus, the idea of To Three and Beyond was born. When I began, I didn't know if it would be a book or an article. I gathered over 200 surveys from women with the idea of putting together a compendium on the subject.

Through life circumstances (including my son's diagnosis and the births of my two daughters), the book got put on the back burner, with me doing just a little work on it here and there. In the meantime, Ann Sinnot published Breastfeeding Older Children, which covered the same topic. We had discussed our projects with each other before and agreed that they would complement each other as they approached the topic from different angles.

When I finally began stewing on the idea of the book more seriously, I realized that what really inspired me was reading all of the mothers' stories on my surveys and not just listing the advantages, disadvantages, and strategies of full-term breastfeeding. When that realization hit me, I became mobilized. I wrote a new outline and approached Kathleen Kendall-Tackett and Praeclarus Press with the idea, and it has moved forward from there.

I am really excited about working on and completing this book. I want it to be like a support-group meeting in a book for all mothers who are considering or actually breastfeeding a child past the third birthday. It is normal and extremely beneficial. People just need to know that.




The Deadline Is Approaching

Hello, everyone! I just wanted to send out a reminder that story submissions are due soon, June 15. I have had lots of questions about the book, but so far the submissions are very few (two to be exact!). I'm hoping that you all are just procrastinating and that I'll see a flood of stories in my inbox while I am on vacation in the next couple of weeks.

Remember, guidelines for stories are on my Call for Stories page.

If you have any questions, please do send them. Remember, this book can't happen unless you all share your stories with me (and with future long-termers!).

I can't wait to be overwhelmed with reading all of your wonderful tales!

--Janell

P.S. Please share this post with your friends, relatives, and anyone else you think might be interested in sharing their stories for this book. Also, if you think of a forum/venue I might have forgotten to contact, please send it to me here.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Book Contract

It's official. I received my signed contracts back today from Praeclaurus Press, a small press that focuses on women's health and is run by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett. As you may know, Kathleen is well-known in the breastfeeding community for her work on breastfeeding and other women's issues. It will be a pleasure working with her.

If all goes according to plan, the book should be published by summer 2014.

Although I have received a lot of queries, I have only received one story so far and that one has gone back for revisions. If you have questions, please ask, and in the meanwhile, start sending your stories in! There won't be a book without them!

Friday, May 10, 2013

Another Chapter: How They Have Grown

I've decided to add another chapter to the outline of the book (I will append this to the Call for Stories post, too). It was in my original plan, and a friend recently reminded me of it. Please share this far and wide so that we can get some representation.

  • Chapter 9: Stories of How They Have Grown: This chapter will focus on first-person stories of grown nurslings (lets say, ages 16 and up). These stories might cover the following topics: How long did you nurse? Describe what memories you have of nursing and what kind of feelings you have toward that time in your life. In general, what positive or negative affects has nursing had on you as you’ve grown older? How do you feel the nursing relationship affected the relationship you have with your mother (or both parents)? Has nursing affected the way you interact or your relationship with other children and/or adults? Please describe. Do you feel nursing for as long as you did made it harder or easier for you to be independent and self-sufficient? Or did it have no affect? Please provide any stories or comments that you would like to share regarding nursing and how it has affected you as a person.
I also want to remind everyone that the stories are due June 15! Please send them in as soon as you can.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

A Hidden Gem

I came across a video on Facebook today and really think it's a hidden YouTube gem. Usually, if you search for extended breastfeeding or full-term nursing, you might get a lot of dissenting or "that's disgusting" type of results.

However, this is an awesome hidden-camera video of extended breastfeeding and strangers reactions to it (they use an actress as the dissenter). I love that the "public" could see some prepared moms respond to this situation and that there was an outpouring of support for them. Hats off to the moms who participated in this experiment!



Thursday, April 25, 2013

Tips on Writing Your Story for To Three and Beyond

I've started to receive story submissions for the book, and I'm so excited. From the emails and stories I've received thus far, there seems to be a running difficulty: "Where does my story fit?"

I understand the need to want to tell your whole story, as each one is so precious. That's how I got started on this whole project! I wanted to tell the world, "Hey, this is not disgusting or gross. This is beautiful. It's a miracle and a gift. Why should we shun it or throw it away?"

First, let me say that I welcome multiple submissions from each author. If you want to write stories about decision, about family difficulties, and about weaning and submit them all, feel free. I'm going to choose the stories that are the most compelling and that together represent the broadest range of experience that I can.

On that note, let's talk about focusing your story and why: the why first.

My vision for this book, as I presented it to the potential publisher (I'll let you know when that is official!), is that the book will be like a support meeting (think La Leche League for full-term breastfeeders) in a book. I want a mother to be able to pick up the book at any moment along her journey and be able to flip right to a story that fits in with her experience or something close to it without necessarily reading the whole story of every mother represented by the book. Alternatively, I want that mother to be able to hand the book to a friend, spouse, or family member and say, "Here, read these stories. See, it's not just me. I'm not crazy, and I'm far from the only one who feels that this is the best thing for me and my child." or "These parents went through close to the same thing that we are going through!" Thus, the need for focused and delineated stories is clear.

My first tip to a writer asking which part of her experience to write about was to think about the part of full-term breastfeeding that made her feel the most passionate, the thing that made the biggest difference. Write about that first; focus on it. Your story doesn't have to start at the beginning (the decision) and end at the end (a.k.a. weaning). You just have to share with us a meaningful part of your journey. When that's done, feel free to write about the next thing and submit multiple stories if that's what you desire.

I hope this is helpful. Please feel free to ask questions in the comments, and I'll be happy to address them as best I can.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Vacation

I'm taking off for a few days with my kids, but I look forward to continuing this conversation on long-term breastfeeding when I return. I hope you all are working on your stories. I can't wait to read them!

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Limit Setting

In my years as a La Leche League Leader, a mother, and writer, I have found that as parents, we have many, many different approaches to limit setting in different situations.

There are parents who strictly regulate their children's days, setting limits for most activities, so that children know exactly what is expected of them and what is allowed and okay.

On the other end of the spectrum are parents who feel that children should find their own limits, be allowed to explore the world more freely, and discover on their own where their limits should be.

In all actuality, most parents probably fall somewhere along the curve between the two.

When it comes to breastfeeding a child after they've turned three, the story is no different. Some may assume that because you've allowed your child to nurse until they have turned three that there couldn't possibly be any limit setting in your household, but I have found that this is not always the case. In fact, some mothers have found that limit setting was exactly what they or their child needed. Some families, however, have found the freedom of no limits on nursing to fit their lifestyle better.

What have you found to work best for you and your child?

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Promoting Acceptance of Long-Term Breastfeeding

I'd like to start a dialog on this blog. I'm putting this book together to support nursing mothers, but it won't be published until the middle of next year or so. In the meantime, let's talk about long-term nursing, full-term breastfeeding, or whatever you want to call it.

Let's start with a very important question, a question that gets at the root of why we need a book to support us in the first place.

What do you think we as mothers can do to help promote acceptance of extended nursing among society and our families and friends?

Is it all about nursing in public or supporting each other in private? Do we need to take it one step at a time or do we need to make a giant push? What can we learn from other groups that have worked to get their needs and rights respected? Unfortunately, our babies and children are not in a position to fight for their own rights, so we must often do it for them.

What should we do?

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Call for Stories

Would you like to contribute to this book? Your story could help other mothers looking for information on full-term breastfeeding.

I am looking for stories for the following chapters:


  • Chapter 1. Stories of Decision: How Did this Happen? (or How Did We Go from 3 Weeks to 3 Years?): The Decision to Continue Breastfeeding: This chapter will include stories that describe the decision to continue breastfeeding. Did the mother intend to practice natural or child-led weaning from Day 1, or did her feelings evolve in some way? I intend to choose stories that reflect different pathways to this decision.
  • Chapter 2. Stories of Joy: Expected and Unexpected Advantages and Moments of Joy in Long-Term Nursing: The title is pretty self-explanatory. I want to include stories here that really back up long-term nursing from a mother’s-eye view and perhaps the child’s-eye view as well.
  • Chapter 3. Stories of Challenges: Difficulties Encountered in Long-Term Nursing: This chapter might include stories of divorce, illness, grief, schooling, societal expectations, and other situations that might make long-term nursing more difficult and will be limited to situational challenges and difficulties with those outside the family.
  • Chapter 4. Stories of Family: Support and Conflict with Spouses, Partners, and Other Family Members: This chapter will include stories of how mothers and children were supported or discouraged by spouses and family members in their journey.
  • Chapter 5. Stories of Daily Living: How We Made It Work Every Day: This chapter will include stories of things such as birth order, nursing in public, nursing and working, tandem nursing, sleeping arrangements, parenting styles, and setting limits that allowed mothers and children to continue breastfeeding until they wished to stop.
  • Chapter 6. Special Stories: Long-Term Nursing when Mother or Child Has Medical Issues or Special Needs: As described, this chapter might include stories of older mothers nursing, nursing through illness, nursing a child with autism, and other challenging situations where the decision to continue breastfeeding might have been an advantage or a disadvantage.
  •  Chapter 7. Stories of Support: Resources that Helped Us Make It Through and What We Would Tell New Mothers: This chapter is meant to shine light on the great people and places that helped mothers through when they weren’t sure they were going to make it. The stories might be about a special friend, a family member, a La Leche League group or Leader, and so on. It will also include one-on-one stories such as “I’d like to tell you that these days won’t last forever...,” “It was better than I ever imagined” and so on.
  •  Chapter 8. Stories of Weaning: When the End Finally Arrives: This chapter will include personal stories of how weaning happened in different nursing twosomes. I intend to include as wide a range of different perspectives as I am able.
  • Chapter 9: Stories of How They Have Grown: This chapter will focus on first-person stories of grown nurslings (lets say, ages 16 and up). These stories might cover the following topics: How long did you nurse? Describe what memories you have of nursing and what kind of feelings you have toward that time in your life. In general, what positive or negative affects has nursing had on you as you’ve grown older? How do you feel the nursing relationship affected the relationship you have with your mother (or both parents)? Has nursing affected the way you interact or your relationship with other children and/or adults? Please describe. Do you feel nursing for as long as you did made it harder or easier for you to be independent and self-sufficient? Or did it have no affect? Please provide any stories or comments that you would like to share regarding nursing and how it has affected you as a person. (ADDED MAY 10, 2013)

Each story should be 1000 to 1500 words in length. I will be able to accept six to eight stories for each chapter, depending on their length.

When you send your story, please be sure to include your name and location exactly as you would like them to appear in the book if your story is accepted. Also, please include an email address and phone number where I can reach you.

All stories may be sent to tothreeandbeyond@gmail.com and should include the subject "Story Submission." Also, please indicate in your email the chapter for which your story is intended. You can also direct questions to this email address.

Due dates for these stories are OCTOBER 15, 2013 (UPDATED 8/12/13)

Please share this post far and wide among your friends and in breastfeeding and birth circles so that we can get as wide a sample of experiences as possible for this important book.